I’m So Excited, I Just CAN Hide It.

Writing Challenge Day 13 – What are you excited about?

I have a couple of traveling adventures lined up and that excites me. I am scheduled to go to Israel in the fall. I have never been but have always wanted to go. When I was 15 I was supposed to go but plans fell through because of some selfish people. Since then I have said that if an opportunity ever opened up to me for traveling to Israel I was going and one finally did. I have seriously considered just booking a ticket and going by myself, but now I do not have to do that.

Pocahontas is moving to the Georgia coast. Continue reading

The Rain Still Falls and the Sun Still Shines

Writing Challenge Day 12 – Write about 5 blessings in your life.

I have many things in my life for which I am thankful and that make me feel blessed. Yet I know that if I were to begin listing them, they have the potential to leave someone without a particular blessing feeling as though they are not blessed because they still have not received that thing with which they desire to be blessed.

For example: I feel blessed to have 2 beautiful daughters (Pocahontas & The Hulk). There may be someone reading this even now who is struggling with infertility or who has passed the age of fertility, that upon reading about the blessing of my daughters, immediately thinks “what is wrong with me that I cannot have a child, or Continue reading

My Twisted Little Mind and The Land of What If…

Writing Challenge Day 11 – Something you always think “What if…” about.

I am going to give you a peak inside my twisted little mind and a short visit to The Land of What If…

We are all mad here

I’m not going to tell you about how my “what if…” thoughts often include very unhealthy lines of thinking like: “What if so and so says or does such and such?” “What if I never married and just raised my first daughter on my own?” “What if I was rich?” “What if I just punch so and so in the throat?” “What if no one ever reads my blog?” Continue reading

Who Will Speak For You?

Writing Challenge Day 10 – Write about something for which you feel strongly.

Be An Advocate

Lately I find myself telling people, who come to me for advice about “whatever”, the same thing over and over. Be your own advocate.

Advocate is defined as a person who pleads on someone else’s behalf.

It’s synonyms are words like: champion · upholder · supporter · backer · promoter · spokesperson · campaigner · fighter · crusader. Most everyone wants a person in life that one of these words would describe. Sometimes you need someone to speak for you, and that someone should be YOU!

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Photo by Yanko Peyankov at Unsplash

Use Your Voice

First and foremost, you must learn to speak up for yourself. If you are in the doctor’s office, and you have questions, ASK them. If you have symptoms, SPEAK up. Your doctor does not live with you, in your body, or in your head! You must convey for your own benefit what is going on with you! Continue reading

Soul Starvation

Writing Challenge Day 9 – Post some words of wisdom that speak to you.

Take time

This is the place in which I stand right now. I am looking for what makes my soul happy. It has been easy to deprive myself over the years, while simply living the day in and day out, doing what had to be done. I have outgrown some things and others have outgrown me. My roles have changed. I have changed and the world changed around me. I have lost sight of what makes me happy or maybe I have just forgotten to take the time. I am waking up from this soul starvation and venturing out.

J.R.R. Tolkien said “Not all who wander are lost”. So please excuse my wandering, I am not actually lost. I am simply taking the time to explore for what makes my soul happy. When I find it, I plan to feast until my soul is filled and then feast again and again.

 

 

What Happens When Freedom Sets You Adrift?

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Photo by Robert Crawford at Unsplash

Free

After years of being held emotionally captive, a recent event severed the ties that had me bound and I was set free. He made a choice to finally let me go. It was conscience and intentional. It was shocking.

We’d been estranged for years and years at my choice. It was the only way I felt safe, the only way to keep my girls safe. But he never stopped playing this game with me where he pretends to “fix” the relationship with apologies, admissions, promises, etc. only to break it again with lies, omissions, excuses, and more lies, all the while blaming me.

The Event

I attended a family function that resulted in us having to be in the same room. I stood and waited for that dreaded inevitable moment, Continue reading

The Struggle; Me, Hope, Cheese, Whine, and a Pool

Writing Challenge Day 8 – Share something you struggle with.

I struggle with … me.

That sounds stupid. What kind of person struggles with themselves? This kind of person I suppose, because I am struggling with me. That is the way it feels most of the time. This grand battle ensues in my own mind daily; I want to do something vs. I want to do nothing.

I want a pool…

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Photo by Anna Demianenko at Unsplash

I have hopes, dreams and visions. I want to travel. I want to have an adventurous life. I want to leave a mark on this world. I want to make a diffence. I want a tattoo. I want to parachute out of a plane. I want to live on an exotic beach. I want to feel alive. I want a pool.

In 20 years…

I struggle with how to do/get/pay for those things. I am not even sure how to define what any of that looks like for me anymore. I severely lack motivation to do anything at all. I seldom believe in myself. I am filled with the fear that I’ll wake up 20 years from now, Continue reading

Speak to Me with a Song

Writing Challenge Day 7 – List 10 songs that you are loving right now.

Ok these lists are getting annoying. Oh no, I am going to be rebellious again.

I love music. I don’t know if I really have any favorites right now.

I love a song that makes me feel like dancing, it speaks to my booty.

I love a song that can make me cry, it speaks to my heart.

I love a song that has interesting intricacies and nuances, it speaks to my mind.

I love a song from the 80’s, it speaks to my youth.

I love a song with steel drums, it speaks to my summer self.

I love a song that makes my want to sing, it speaks to my voice.

I love a song that reminds me everything is gonna be alright, it speaks to my soul.

I love a song that is funny, it speaks to my sense of humor.

I love a song that is loud, it speaks to my bones.

I love a song score from a good movie, it speaks to the ebb and flow of my emotions.

That is 10 songs. No they are not specific, they are descriptive. Music changes with the seasons, but the core of what I love rarely changes.

Feel free to share with me your favorite songs, I love to hear what kind of cool music others are enjoying. People seem to find the most interesting stuff I have never even heard of.

 

 

 

 

 

Has Anyone Seen the Keys…to my heart?

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Photo by Alex Martinez at Unsplash

Writing Challenge Day 6 – Five keys to win my heart

  1. Laughter – Make me laugh. Laugh with me. Be silly with me until we giggle uncontrollably. Laughter truly is good medicine and for me has a serious bonding effect. It does the heart, mind, soul, and body good.
  2. Adoration – Tell me I’m pretty and make me believe it. I know this may sound shallow, but women tend to see the beauty in the world and yet forget to see the beauty that is within themselves, at least I do. I need to be reminding that beauty resides on the inside and the outside of me.
  3. Listening – Lend me your ear. Give me your undivided attention. Care about what I have to say. Hear my heart. Engage your ears and your mind while in conversation with me. Don’t try to fix me, just listen and understand.
  4. Enjoyment – Have fun with me. Play with me. Dance with me. Sing with me. Travel with me. Find ways to enjoy life with me, and you’ll find yourself unlocking my heart.
  5. Knowledge – Get to know me. Know my facial expressions, sighs, and body language. Know what I like, need, and want. Know me well enough to buy me a gift without having to get my permission or opinion. Know that for me affectionate gifts can range anywhere from a Mr Pibb (currently known as PibbXtra) to office supplies to Amazon money to electronics/tech. The knowledge of “me” is one of the most effective keys to winning my heart.

Wow that is a lot of secrets and hints. Winning my heart sounds easy and difficult at the same time. Welcome to my world. Finding the key to one’s heart should be a beautiful, difficult, and adventurous journey worth taking.