I am boring…
I’ve been thinking about why writing this blog is so difficult for me, and I have decided it’s because I am boring. No one wants to read anything I (Nonie) want to talk about.
It is not a mystery to me that I have a rough time believing in myself. I often tell those around me that I am boring, irrelevant, and invisible.
They* want to punch me in the head for saying so. They vehemently disagree with my assessment of myself. They think I should take a better look at me.
Here is the problem; for every argument they make, I have a rebuttal.
Is it possible for me to be anything other than boring?
For Mother’s Day, my oldest daughter (Pocahontas) posted several pictures of me on Facebook with captions like “Have you met my mother?”. The posts got a little bit of attention (more than anything about me usually gets). While I looked through the posts, I saw someone who did not seem very boring. I ended up commenting on how she made me look super interesting. She insisted it’s because I am. (Whatever)
But for a moment, my perspective changed…
Perhaps there is a way to change my perspective for longer than a moment or an evening. Perhaps if I can acknowledge different, more interesting aspects of who I am or have been, then maybe my mind will be changed forever.
So yeah, the best way I know how to approach this is through sarcasm, facetiousness, and argumentativeness, hence the title Reasons I Am Boring. The struggle here is that I think talking about myself makes me super boring. Ugh…
Reason I am boring #1 –
I want to be accepted, but I don’t want to conform. I want to improve, but I don’t want to have to work too hard to do so. I want to be perceived as interesting, but I don’t acknowledge anything about me as such. I try to understand and appreciate where others may be coming from in life, but I am the harshest of judges when it comes to me. I am a contradiction.
See, I make a valid point. My contradiction is so boring. Do you find contradictions in your personality? Are you boring like me? Feel free to bask in the boringness while I journey deeper into the reasons** I am boring.
*They are my people. They are my tribe. They are those I know and trust.
**The reasons may or may not be in numerical order, most likely not. 🙂