To Each Their Own

Part of me really wants this blog to be sophisticated and inspirational, but a larger part of me wants to just write and talk about whatever subject is at hand. Those who know me personally know that the latter is more my speed. The whole reason I chose the name of the blog is because for years and years people have come into my house and felt free to sit and talk about pretty much anything that is on their mind. I’m the lady that listens, understands, and attempts to offer any help or advice if needed. For years I was known as Mama Carter to many a soul but with the introduction of my grandchildren the name Nonie has become my moniker. My hopes for this blog is that many will find the freedom to talk about whatever is on there mind!

With that said, I want to talk about something that is on my mind and apparently everyone else’s too. Sexual satisfaction.

Today, in a group on Facebook, a meme was posted of a sexual nature. The interpretation of said meme began a discussion about… (take a deep breath…) female orgasm verses female ejaculation (squirting). The internet expertise and personal anecdotal evidence abounded. It was a lively discussion that went around and around to no where. What was interesting and infuriating was a sentiment I have seen and heard more times than I can count. That sentiment is that if you have not experienced something (in this particular case, female ejaculation) the way someone else has experienced it, then you haven’t truly been satisfied.  That sentiment removes the idea that one is capable to decide on their own if they are happy with their own experience.

I have news for you. My experience is just that, MINE. My ability to discern whether I enjoy something or not is well intact. The same holds true for most people. If an individual has no idea, and quite frankly needs the internet strangers to tell them whether or not their experience is satisfying and valid, then the larger concern here is a probable need for counselling.

This is not the first time I have seen this kind of thing. Some time back, I watched a couple of single barely out of high school girls attempt to tell a happily married 30 year old man that he should try prostate manipulation, as they were sure he was missing out on some lost treasure and could not possibly be fully satisfied otherwise. They were very insistent to the point of belligerence. He was very clear that nothing goes into his particular ass. Now I call them girls because they did not have the wisdom to know how inappropriate it was to even be having said conversation. They were not qualified nor asked to discuss such things. They did not know anything about his history, his sex life, nor do either of them actually have a prostate of which they spoke with such self-important knowledge.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all in for interesting conversation about new and different things. I have no intention nor do I tolerate the “yucking someone else’s yum” or “kink-shaming”. To each their own. But isn’t that the point, why do people who are doing things that others are not get to be so judgmental and arrogant about their experience? Why is there a requirement of tolerance without a return of it? Can we not let one simply have what is our own, and be happy that one has found satisfaction?

I’ve been around long enough to know that if someone is not satisfied for long enough they will tell someone in some way. If you happen to be on the receiving end of that telling, then without judgment, offer to listen, give advice if wanted, and be gentle. Sex is sensitive. You never know what someone has experienced in their past. There could be things as serious as molestation or rape. There could be medical issues of sexual disfunction or deformity. There could even be attempts at new things that failed miserably and left one shy to try again. The point is you just never know unless someone trusts you enough to open themselves to you. So don’t be a judgmental self-righteous ass, especially not about sex.


Photo by Gritte on Unsplash



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