I need to write more here and maybe soon I will. Currently in my spare time, I edit and manage a blog for a dear friend of mine Jeff Roebuck. http://jeffspeakstolife.org/ He writes a lot about his own journey and mental health. He has a lovely approach to dealing with life’s issues. I am quite proud of the work I do on his blog and so is he. You really should check it out.
As I sit here not intending to write anything other than the above recommendation, it strikes me that the title of this post says a lot about who I am as a human being. I spend an unusual amount of time being a behind the scenes person elsewhere simultaneously ignoring my own story. I am often the unseen support in someone’s resignation letter or job application. I am the friend someone leans on during a divorce, death, or disaster. I am the encourager when someone is scared and unsure about that next great step in their life. I’ve spent a lot of time being the unpaid actor in other people’s movies.
I am not unhappy about this. I am not happy about it either. It is what it is. This is me. This is my personality. I am not going to change at this point. I would love to be the star of my own movie but I get terrible stage fright and I don’t think the movie would be all that interesting or perhaps it would be a horror story. Honestly, how would anyone know?
Truly I want people to be their best self and I am good, dare I say gifted, at helping. The biggest problem I have run into after all these years is my own best self has suffered. My happiness has become as invisible as I often feel that I am. Don’t get me wrong I very aware that I have let this happen and I am working on it. It did not happen overnight and I am remembering to be my own voice, much like I constantly tells others to be for themselves. I also have a great set of behind the scenes people who are now scrambling to figure out how to best support me at this point.
The moral of my story is don’t forget yourself on the way to your behind the scenes job. Also don’t forget your behind the scenes people need support too and may just need a little more time in the spotlight.