Thought of the Day (6/19/17)

Believe it or not your experience does not necessarily prove what is or is not true of the entirety of society or the world. You are not the center of the universe. You cannot possible know everything or everyone. Stop making sweeping judgements​ based solely on your individual experience. 

#talktomorepeople #readsomethingoutsideyourcomfortzone #theworldisnotdefinedbyyourbelief #perceptionisnotreality

The Early Bird Can Have the Worms for All I Care

I am a night owl. I enjoy staying up late and then sleeping until I feel like getting out of bed even if that is late morning. I was designed that way. I am not broken. I am not irresponsible. If something calls for my having to be up early, then I adjust accordingly.

I do not normally give this much thought, except when others bring it up or I run into a situation that does not appear to be a societal norm. This last weekend fell into the latter category.

My oldest, her husband, and their boys (Babyman [4] and Dr. Evil [almost 2]) came to stay at my house for a family event. This is a regular occurrence.

The grandboys do not like to sleep in, no matter what time they go to sleep at night. That reality means others do not get to sleep in either. I am not among them. I have very little problem rolling over and going back to sleep when I realize they are up before I want to be.

*Gasp*

Yeah, yeah I heard that.

Here is the thing, the house I live in, my daughter once lived in as well. This was once her home. In fact she met her husband while it was her home, and he has spent more than his fair share of time here. They are at home here. They do not need me to host them.

We seem to, as a society expect the “woman of the house” to always be playing the consummate hostess, no matter the guest. You know what I thing about that?

Forget that noise.

My kids are grown. They know how to take care of themselves. They know where I keep the bagels and the coffee. They know how to work the TV and most anything else they could need. Why do they need me to get my grumpy butt out of bed to take care of them?

They don’t.

So you know what? When the guilt of my defying the societal norm of being the perfect hostess/mother/grandmother comes to taunt me in the early hours of the morning, backed by the voices of my grandboys, I am simply going to pull my eye-mask back down over my eyes, my covers over my head, and nuzzle my pillow until I am fast asleep, guilt free, because I will not be limited to some silly rule that was made up by some judgmental early bird who apparently likes worms.

PS. This is why I am boring reason #8.

 

Eavesdropping

 

 

Eavesdrop

Merriam-Webster.com defines eavesdrop as: to listen secretly to what is said in private. The origin had to do with literally standing under an eave as water dropped on the listener.

Nosey by Nature

I am, by nature, a nosey person; in fact I think more people are than are not. In my maturity though, I have learned a few things, not the least of which is that some things are just not my business. This is a lesson that would undoubtedly make a lot of people much happier in life.

Fly on the Wall

Needless to say, many of you are not going to change your nosey ways. It is understandable; you walk up on a conversation that is happening around the corner or just inside the next room and your ears perk up to the juicy tidbits of information being discussed. Your heart quickens and your mind whirrs at the chance to gain knowledge that you would not have been given otherwise; so you listen.

You Know You’re Listening

Now don’t even act like it is not true, because we know it is. Very few people have the willpower or wisdom to just walk away or at least make their presence known. My kids used to do this and would inevitably give themselves away later, usually because they could not keep their mouths shut about what they thought they heard.

Rules of Engagement

I found myself giving them rules for eavesdropping, and now I am going to share them with you.

  1. If you are going to listen, make sure you hear everything, or don’t listen at all.
  2. Try to make sure you have understood the context in which the overheard words were spoken.
  3. Do not lie about “accidently” overhearing. We all know you stood there on purpose.
  4. Do not enter a conversation without being invited just because you think you have a good grasp of what is being discussed, and/or you believe you have valuable input. If someone had wanted your input, they would have asked you.
  5. Keep your dang mouth shut.

Zip It

Number 5 is key. You were not a member of the conversation to which you were eavesdropping. I do not care how loud someone was talking or what they were talking about, IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS until someone makes it your business. No matter what you think you know, you don’t know. So if you heard something, at the very least keep it to yourself (you doubtfully have the details right anyway).

Does this bug others as much as it does me, or am I just fighting human nature? Sound off with your rules and opinions about eavesdropping in the comments. I would love to hear your thoughts, but I won’t stand on the other side of the door to get them!

This Too Shall Pass

Recently I was watching Talking with Chris Hardwick (AMC and The Nerdist Podcast) with Michelle Monaghan as the guest. She shared a story about how Kevin Bacon had once told her “this too shall pass” during a conversation in which she was talking about something good in her life.

Now I grew up in church circles where this was/is common advice for when you are going through something crappy or tough. (It is after all from the story of Esther in the Bible.) Kevin Bacon was however making the point that Continue reading

Reasons I Am Boring

I am boring…

I’ve been thinking about why writing this blog is so difficult for me, and I have decided it’s because I am boring. No one wants to read anything I (Nonie) want to talk about.

It is not a mystery to me that I have a rough time believing in myself. I often tell those around me that I am boring, irrelevant, and invisible.

They* want to punch me in the head for saying so. They vehemently disagree with my assessment of myself. They think I should take a better look at me.

Here is the problem; for every argument they make Continue reading

We Need To Talk

Screw Rubies

(photo cred: http://www.stoneandstars.com)

Okay people,
It is time to talk about it.

Especially “Christian” women,
It is time to talk about it.
First things first:
As far as first impressions go, I am as square as they get. I am a stay at home mom, a wife, a virgin when I got married, never done any drugs, grew up in church, and daughter of a minister. I was even a licensed minister myself for a time.
I am a feminist.
Wait what? ^^^ If you got stuck there, we need to talk.
Just because I sound like a plain Jane does not mean I can not be a feminist. I believe that women should be allowed to choose the life they want. All of those things, I chose for myself. They were what I needed and wanted for my life. I believe that the stereotypes between boys and girls are absolutely…

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The Problem with Rearview Mirrors

I heard a speaker* say 2 different things tonight that I cannot shake.

  1. You can only get so far looking at the problem.

    There is so much truth in this statement. Years ago I was playing Donkey Kong Country on Nintendo, and occasionally I would hit a snag that I simply could not figure out. I really wanted to complete the game, but I really wanted to throw it out the window. I got mad and just went to sleep. There in my dreams, the answer would appear to work itself out, a place where I wasn’t stressing out while consciously looking at the problem. My mind looked past the hang up and toward the solution. I know this is a weird example, but seriously, how often do we finally, in frustration, just move onto something else only to have the solution “magically” appear before us? No matter how big or small the problem, staring at/focusing on it is doubtfully going to solve it.

  2. There is only so much information in the rearview mirror.

    This statement really got me because I am a visual thinker. I suddenly imagined driving a car while staring into the rearview mirror. It was terrifying. I saw myself ending up in all kinds of messes, the least of which involved smashing into the cars in front of me. We spend far too much time looking behind us, staring longingly or regrettably into the past. There is not enough information there to successfully drive us into the future. Yes there is some helpful information, when used as a tool to glance into while making the journey, but it is impossible to complete that journey if it is the only tool we use or even the one we use most. We must learn how to revere the past but move on from it, no matter how good or bad it was. The fact is “it was”, and it is not anymore. Look forward to the direction in which you hope to go, and that is where you will end up.

If you did not read the paragraphs, at least read the statements, and let them sink deep into you. Let them apply where they will. I guarantee they will speak deeply to you if you let them. If you did read my commentary, I thank you for spending your time with me. Either way, you are amazing just because you are you, and if everyone else forgets to remind you of that fact, I am here reminding you!

*The speaker is Rod Williams. I do not know if these are his original quotes, but he is the one I heard say them and deserves the credit as such.